Archive for March 29th, 2018|Daily archive page


Don’t throw my past at me; it hurts
Not because I’ve done anything particularly bad
But because you and I have something different

I hope I’ve learned by my mistakes and become
A better person because of the few people
Who were very close to me one time

Don’t compare me with people from your past; it’s wrong
I can’t say I won’t do similar things
But please give me the benefit of the doubt

Don’t play games with my feelings; I care
Let’s just take this relationship and make it work
Through communication, honesty, trust and love

© Jacky Leonard


Author’s notes

Relationships can be tricky.  Sometimes, it’s difficult to leave your baggage behind and move on.  These are my thoughts on the subject.

The last goodbye (short story)

They both knew, at best, it might be months before they would see each other again, as they sat in the airport chatting about the good times they’d shared over the past 12 weeks. Of course neither would admit it at the time, they just joked, laughed and bantered the time away until John’s flight was called, kidding each other that he’d be back in no time. A long lingering hug and a cheery wave goodbye and that was it. Julia stood rooted to the same spot for minutes, gazing into the distance after her lover. The man she adored had just got on a plane bound for the good old US of A, heading back to New York.

How had she let herself fall in love with this man? What on earth was she thinking? But that was just it; she hadn’t been thinking when she bumped into a tall, dark stranger a few months ago at a works party. She was captivated by his accent, sense of humour and engaging smile. He was so easy to talk to and right then she’d wished the whole roomful of people would just disappear so they could be left alone.  Of course it didn’t work like that, she was there with her boss and had to do her bit networking on behalf of the company. She remembered that night. How both of them couldn’t take their eyes off each other. It didn’t seem to matter where she went or how many people she talked to, she’d look up and there he was, smiling.

She didn’t know at the time how that chance meeting would turn her world upside down. Quite out of character, she’d given him her number that night, not really expecting him to get in touch. Imagine her surprise when she picked up her phone the next morning only to hear his deep, seductive voice. He wasted no time in asking her out and they hadn’t spent a night away from each other since.

He was in London on business, so she knew from the start that there would come a time when he had to go back to the States. Back to his family. Oh yes, she had become the other woman and although she loathed herself for falling for a married man she couldn’t end it.
As she walked away from the airport she wished he’d be back soon, but didn’t see how. After all he had been completely honest about his commitments right from the start, but she still hoped. She slowly drove home in a daze, parked the car on the drive, went in and switched on the visual Valium to distract her from her melancholy. She tried to focus on the possibility of seeing him again on his next trip to the UK, whenever that might be.

Just then, a news flash brought her thoughts abruptly back into the room as the presenter announced Flight 6061 to New York had crashed into the ocean, with all passengers and crew feared lost. She sat in numb disbelief. She had always believed she would see him again, but now she knew, John was gone forever. It was never meant to have happened this way.

© Jacky Leonard 2015

Authors Notes
Written at a Montpellier Writers Group session

No life (short story)

He lay sprawled across his bed. He turned and looked up at his reflection on the mirrored ceiling. What had possessed him to put mirrored glass there? Even he had to admit he was not a pretty sight. He’d been on another bender the night before and lord knows how he’d managed to find his way home. But he had and had even managed to get most of his clothes off before collapsing in a drunken heap on the bed. He scanned the room to find his shirt hanging off the wardrobe, trousers on top of the chest of drawers and shreddies on the head board. There he lay in all his glory, nothing on but a pair of old socks with holes in the toes.

He was 35, very single and still lived at home. Even he had to admit his life was a joke. With a numbed brain, he began to contemplate where the last 10 years had gone. How he’d squandered a promising career and wasted his potential on booze and drugs.
As he lay there, naked and emotionally exposed he made a decision to change. He didn’t want to continue living life like this. This was no life.
It was now time to do something about it.

© Jacky Leonard 2015

Authors Notes

Written at a Montpellier Writers Group session

An ‘oar’ some adventure (short story)

The children were dizzy with excitement. Their mother had just informed them they were going on an adventure. It was the middle of the school holidays and they had almost had their fill of computer games, visits to their father’s house and playing in the park. Mum’s surprise trip was perfectly timed and they couldn’t wait to find out more.

“Come down to the kitchen and I’ll tell you what’s in store for us” shouted mum.

So all three raced down the stairs coming to a halt just in front of their mother who was leaning against the dining table with a big grin on her face. She knew it would be an interesting break for them, particularly as they rarely travelled in anything other than the family car or the school bus. She realised it would be exhausting for her, watching 3 young children in a strange environment, but they were good kids and she wanted to give them a real treat. Her main concern was how to herd them safely on and off the ferry, but before she could get too worried her thoughts were interrupted by her eldest, Tom, aged 12.

“Come on mum, spill the beans then,” he said. Their mother paused for dramatic effect before announcing.
“We’re going to Bruges.”
“Where’s that?” said 9 year old Hannah.
“It’s in Belgium.” Said their mum. “We’ll be leaving the car behind and travelling by bus, train and boat. Won’t that be fun?”
“When are we going?” asked Tom.
“Tomorrow” replied his mum, “so we haven’t got much time, you’d better go and pack your rucksacks. We’ll be away for 3 nights. Tom, you help Ollie to pack his bag and make sure you all put in your waterproofs.”

During the next few minutes, Tom and Hannah directed a volley of questions at their mum. Throughout their conversation, Ollie, who at 5, was the youngest of the trio, had remained silent, and completely absorbed. Looking from his siblings to his mum and back as the discussion continued. After several minutes Tom and Hannah had enough information and were ready for action, dashing past him out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He too, turned to go, although at a more leisurely pace with a slightly bemused look on his face. You could almost hear the cogs whirring as he tried to process all he’d just heard.

Their mother made a cup of tea before heading after her children only to bump into her rather worried looking youngest child loitering on the first step.
“What’s the matter Oliver?” asked his mother, “Aren’t you excited to be going on our adventure?”
“Oh yes” he said. “Mummy, I was just wondering. You know you said we’ll be going on a boat.”
“Yes Ollie.”
“Will we have our own oars?”

© Jacky Leonard

Authors Notes

This is based on a real life ‘adventure’ that one of my best friends took with her children.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget how different our terms of reference can be to others, particularly children.

Questions, questions

Do you love me?
Do you want me?
What are your doubts and fears?
Does commitment frighten you?
Or can you plan for years?

Do you need me?
Do you care?
When will you decide?
Will you always run away
To find a place to hide?

Do I love you?
Do I want you?
Will I always care?
Just open your eyes and trust in me
I promise I’ll be there

© Jacky Leonard

Author’s notes

This is a reflection of the insecurities, vulnerabilities and pressures that can exist in relationships.

Getting abreast of the situation

Put your shirt on came the shout
Please don’t get your mammaries out
It isn’t big, it isn’t clever
It’s not even the sort of weather
For showing off your ample chest
Without the covering of a vest
You’re bound to catch your death of cold
You really shouldn’t be so bold
For pity sake here what I say
And go and put your tits away!

© Jacky Leonard

Authors Notes

This was written after hearing a story about a friend of a friend, who’s party trick, when she got drunk, was to take her top off and show the world her breasts.  Ah well, we’ve all got our little quirks.  The thing that stirred me into writing was witnessing the disgust with which my friend shared the tale.  Made me chuckle at how appalled she was that someone would do such a thing.  Surprising how many names we have for a woman’s’ chest.

The world’s a stage

Many come to the theatre
To observe the parts being played
Some leave unaffected by the performance
Others stay to share the experience
Very few will be allowed backstage
When the curtain falls
To see the real person behind the masks

Jacky Leonard © 1982


Author’s notes
This was written as a brief commentary on the personas we present to different people at various times in our lives.  How we generally only allow a chosen few people to get close enough to really get to know every facet of us.

The Easter Bunny

I’m sitting here this morning and feeling rather blue
My waistline has expanded and my teeth are aching too
What’s caused this bad depression is that recently you see
The Easter Bunny called here with a present just for me
With no thought with my skin or teeth, my waistline, rump, or legs
I tucked into a banquet of gooey chocolate eggs
Ah, but I’ll get my own back and grab him by his fur
And pull out all his whiskers when he comes again next year

Jacky Leonard and Evie Thomas © 1980

Authors Notes
Written with my cousin Evie, for her children at Easter.  Us being silly again…only the Welsh can rhyme fur with year!

The decision

The way out seems so easy when you hurt too much to live
And you think how short a time it takes to die
No more misery or pain, nought to take and nought to give
No decisions to be made no need to lie

You cannot find a single soul to help or understand
Life’s doors are locked and you have lost the key
And so the balance of your life lies there in your own hand
And you hope this day will be the last you see

But please before you take that first step leading to your last
Let me put one question to your aching mind
If this were next year and you could look back upon your past
Would happiness still seem so hard to find

We do not know what lies in store and this can cause us dread
But joy like sorrow comes in many ways
And time will find an answer to the problems in your head
Go forward now and live out all your days

Jacky Leonard and Evie Thomas © 1980

Authors Notes
Written with my cousin Evie, in one of our more serious moments.

‘Twas the night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas and down at the hall
They decided to hold a fancy dress ball
First prize was a bottle of guzzlers gin,
10 fags, a large turkey and ham in a tin
So everyone there would be doing their best
To be very original to outdo the rest
At 8 o’clock sharp the doors opened wide
And 30 fat Santa’s hurtled inside
Cecil and Cedric created a scene
When they both glided in dressed as 2 fairy queens
The girls from the union of Christmas card packers
Came dressed as a box of red Christmas crackers
And a dog dressed as Rudolph when nature did call
Wet Dougie’s tree costume, balls, tinsel and all!
At 9 a brawl started and Jim got a knocking
He was seen putting presents in Jill’s Christmas stocking
Not a thing wrong with that, but wait just a minute
He seems too drunk to notice her leg is still in it
A motley assortment of pixies and elves
Were sat in the corner amusing themselves
By smoking the fags and drinking the gin
And eating the ham that they’d found in the tin
The hall was now full, ‘twas packed to the brim
And the scrooges in town weren’t allowed get in
So for spite one chap made a 999 call
“They’re drunk and disorderly down at the hall”
Then back at the hall there was a big shout
“The snowman has melted, his pipes fallen out”
A candle turned round and shouted “you liar”
When all of a sudden the hall caught on fire
Fire extinguishers were grabbed off the wall
But try as they might they could not save the hall
But thanks to the scrooges the police came real quick
And out of the panda jumped Constable Dick
Fire engines arrived and they knew without doubt
It wouldn’t take long ‘til the fire was out
But the copper was angry “you all make me sick”
And without more ado led them straight down the nick
They were hustled and bustled and locked in the cells
And the rattling of bars blotted out Christmas bells
Then old Dick the copper with good Christmas Cheer
Laughed at the crowd and then said with a sneer
“You’ll be stuck here all Christmas and serves you all right
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”

Jacky Leonard and Evie Thomas © 1981

With apologies to Clement C Moore

Authors Notes
Written with my cousin Evie, for a school play.  I was playing the role of headteacher, with more than a nod to the Head at our school.  This poem ended the play to great applause from the students and teachers.  I thankfully avoided expulsion in spite of my caricature.